Submitted by: DpMad
Posted on: 1/17/05

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS, WARNING LABELS AND NERF PRODUCTS.

I am really concerned that we are totally losing our ability to have and or achieve a basic knowledge of common sense. It seems that our ability and opportunities to think for ourselves is slowly being eradicated by lawyers and frivolous lawsuits. It seems to me, political correctness and the over ability to sue anyone over any statement made or any accident tends to lead to an over abundant amount of Warning Labels.

We are being so oversensitive 'bout hurting other people's feelings that we will almost lie, cheat and steal, to not have to tell someone that they have a booger in their nose. Everyone knows it truly takes a village to raise a child. But then you have to ask. Are you/we able to communicate to another individual on sensitive subjects? Is it possible we have lost our ability to state the observed fact due to the inability to take responsibility for ourselves? Especially when we have Warning Labels on everything? How can we understand the basic laws of nature when we have a warning sign on everything we own and a lawyer ready to pounce on any infraction on anything that doesn't have a warning!?!

Has anyone bought a ladder lately? It seriously looks like a sponsored NASCAR, it has at least 15 warning labels on it. Do we truly need to explain the laws of gravity on a ladder? If you don't understand, when you fall on your head from any given distance you may get hurt and/or killed, as is the same theory - if something large and heavy falls on top of your head you also may get hurt and or killed.

If you truly don't understand these basic things by the time your able to walk, you have no business buying a ladder. Because? Chances are you are not buying the ladder to work on your own house due to the obvious fact you are an idiot. So, that means you are probably working on someone else's house and that house could be mine! Don't sue me because you're an idiot and don't understand the basic laws of gravity!

Speaking of Gravity…

What if Isaac Newton had a lawyer?

The guy who owned the accused falling apple tree would have been taken to court for not posting an appropriately posted sign: WARNING: Unbeknownst to us how or why - Apples may fall on your head - Enter at your own risk. So the Apple Orchard owner of where the theory of gravity would have been discovered has then been sued for damages resulting in the Apple man having to go bankrupt paying for lawyers and court cost. In doing so the Apple Orchard Owner would then have a very personal vendetta against Sir Isaac Newton, and in doing so he would then suppress all theories founded by Newton on such owned property - hence were all remain a bunch of fucking idiots forever.

Hmmmm….

Do you think the Space shuttle has a warning label? I bet it does. I little warning label at the end of the rocket. "Warning may cause sever burns when standing to close to a fucking rocket at the time of ignition." Why? Because of some Asshole and/or Idiot screwing things up - all problems are proven to be caused by some Asshole and/or an Idiot. I'm sure of it. Think about it, any one of your issues can be traced back to an Asshole or an Idiot.

Those are the same Assholes & Idiot's that are causing all the Warning Signs/labels/stickers.

Okay, Some warning signs make sense…

If you have a problem with people speeding down the road that your kids play on. An appropriate sign would be - "Please slow down children playing." - Right? Right.

Even if you want to give some Asshole or Idiot a fair warning before breaking into your house, you can put up a sign "Warning: House protected by Shotgun."

But, do we really need warnings on soda machines? A WARNING that explains if you tip the soda machine on yourself, you may get hurt, squished, mangled or killed?

If a self-induced falling soda machine eliminates assholes and or an idiots, is that warning sign truly helping or helping or hindering the spread of the problem?

Where is this Warning label overdose leading you ask?

I think at first we will no longer be able to own anything with strong hard right angles. Your rectangular coffee table may now be deemed a deadly object, because the corner is dangerous. Someone may be dumb and impact the corner with a spherical body part to only make the person more stupid than they already were. So, immediately after we take all the right angles out of the world we will then start banning any hard object or surface that isn't soft and made out of a Nerf material.

It will have gotten to a place and time where we will see a Warning label on a toaster that reads: "Warning: this toaster may cause discomfort, Electrical shock, rectal bleeding, and possible death if shoved up your ass while plugged in.

Nerf world here we come! Because toaster boy is a millionaire!

Can we avoid the obvious truth? Or will we have to pay a lawyer to come up with very long words to avoid violation of the great Political Correctness so as to seemingly desensitize the situation? Will we need to call our lawyer to have them transmit a document to your friend who is sitting right across from you stating "You have a dehydrated mucus matter obstruction in your upper left septum; it can be observed from many different angles causing a disturbance and loss of appetite, Please Rectify Immediately?"

Yup, that's where we are heading, because if you embarrass/exploit someone they may sue you and if you don't have a warning on something, it may hurt someone and of course, they can sue you. Invest stock in the Nerf Company now! Nerf and Ikea will merge and be the only place you are allowed to buy furniture.

So when you get a bill from your lawyer or someone else's lawyer for damages caused by a booger, at least when you pass out you will have a soft place to land plus a nice new little warning label on all your other bill's envelopes.

Warning: Contents inside may cause sever dizziness, hot flashes, anger to rage, sweaty palms and heart palpitations. Also: may cause severe injury to eyes if dragged across cornea.

Or something like that…

DpMad

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